Question
Hi,
My friend (37 year old male) fell and broke his neck. He told me that C2 and
C3 were basically next to each other. To make it worse, he was alone and was
not found until about 24 hours later.
It has been six weeks and he tells me he has feeling all over his body and is
in a lot of pain. He can move both arms and wiggle the toes on his left foot.
He has control of his bladder and bowels and the rehab center where he is
allows him to sit in a harness over the toilet.
When I first talked to him he said he should be walking soon. But, now he
says he doesn't know because everything he does they did not expected him
never to be able to do. He says that he was supposed to be dead from the
injury.
In your expert opinion, do you believe that the fact he has sensation
everywhere and is able to go to the bathroom on his own suggest he may
make a miraculous recovery for what would be expected for a person with
this type of injury.
Also, it is very difficult to know what to say to him on the phone. All I feel like
doing is crying. Any advice or speculation of his recovery would be great.
Thanks,
Victoria

Answer
Hi Victoria-
Given the basics of your friend's injury, I am glad it was not worse!  Such a high injury and not having immediate treatment can both be very dangerous.  It is hard for me to know exactly what is happening with him, but I will try to give you some information-
First, does he indeed have an SCI?  Where the cord is damaged,I mean, not just the vertebrae?  His inability to walk sounds like there is some sort of nerve damage, so it may be what is referred to as an "incomplete injury".  There are sensory nerves and motor nerves in your cord, and it is possible to injure the ones for movement but not for sensation- the end result being you can feel that which you cannot move.  
Your friend has beaten alot of odds- most people with an injury at c2 or c3 cannot even breathe on their own and require a ventilator, much less can they move their arms or feel anything.  That is good news, and they say for the year following an injury you have the potential for changes in function (nerves can to an extent heal, or grow in new directions).  In honesty, though, I have never heard of the miraculous recovery you mentioned, where a true spinal cord injured person ends up just fine like before.  I don't mean to take away your (or his) hope, but it is my opinion that the best mindset for now is to try being thankful that he still has the abilities that he has and maybe to hope for smaller goals- like moving his toes AND his ankles.  For either of you to hope only for the miraculous recovery can make it even more depressing should it not work out.  Alot of people think they will walk again soon after injury- we are used to getting hurt, healing, going back to 'normal'.  It is hard for the mind to accept that 'normal' may have just changed...
As for talking to him on the phone- I understand you are very sad.  Everyone who cares about the injured person goes through a grieving process too, as of course the person himself must.  It felt (feels) a  little like death to me, because my life now is so very different than it was or than I expected it to be.  But life is like that, you know?  You will never know what might have happened down the other roads, better or worse, because this is the one you're on.  

So my best advice is that it's ok to be sad, to tell him you're sad or scared or whatever.  And then, when you can, try to see that the things that make him HIM are still there.  Whatever things you liked about him before- unless you just liked his ability to walk- are still there in him.    And this will help him too, because he may need to know that people can still see him as they did before (I know I had a hard time with this).  When you're surrounded by doctors and machines and tubes, it's a great relief to have someone just look at YOU.  Try remembering who he is inside the physical junk we get stuck in (which sometimes breaks) and with that knowledge, talk to him as you always have and see how it goes.  The things you had before that made you friends will still be there, and the new situation is something to get used to, certainly, but your connection can remain intact.

These are my best guesses based on your email- I hope that he does make that recovery, but regardless of whether he does, I hope you can both make your peace with the injury.  I tend to feel preachy after I write an answer like this one, like I have all the answers or something.  But please know I remember how hard it was to adjust, for me and my friends, so I am not trying to belittle your difficulties.  From where I am now, I just know that it can be ok again, and the whole reason I answer people's questions is in hopes that I can help people get to this place more quickly than I did!
OK, enough rambling!  I hope that some of this will be helpful to you.  Please write again if you have more questions or if I have left something out- in the meantime, good luck to you and to your friend-
Leslie