Question
I am having difficulties with getting my housework completed due to the pain and stiffness of arthritis.  I also feel fatigued and find it hard to entertain my 7yr old grandson whom I babysit on a daily basis before and after school.  The medication I take for incontinence makes me dizzy and nauseous however I am seeing a specialist for that and will be undergoing tests to rule out cancer.  By the way, I am a 60yr old cancer survivor (non hodgkins lymphoma).  My doctor tells me I have the bones of a person "100  yr. old)  My main concern is that I feel physically unable of doing the things around the house that need to be done on a daily basis.  Life seems overwhelming to me now and I need to find a way to help myself in spite of my doctor saying there is nothing she can do to help me.I have had surgery on both hands to straighten my fingers and they continually lock up.  Next will be my toes.  Hopefully I have expressed my dilemma in a way that you can understand and I would be most grateful for any suggestions that you may have to help me accomplish the everyday chores and take care of my grandson.

Answer
Hi Annette,
   I found your question in our answer pool and thought that I may be able to help.

I am so sorry to hear of your problem. I can completely understand how overwhelming it can be to try to live a normal life while in constant pain.
What medications are you currently on for the pain? Have you talked to your doctor about what medications might be effective and safe for you? Have you tried going to a pain specialist or a doctor that specializes in Arthritis?

One of the most important things about living with chronic pain is to pick your battles. Decide which things are most important to you, which things take priority and let go of the rest. Because of the pain and fatigue, you will probably not be able to do everything like you used to. Since there is nothing you can do about it, concentrate on doing those things that are most important to you. It might help for you to make 2 lists, a list of things that are 'To Do' and the second list is a list of things that are 'To Do when I can'. That may help you prioritize what is most important and what isn't as important. For example housework. What is more important to you, having no dirty dishes in the sink or the floor being swept? Decide which one is more important and concentrate on doing that one. Let the other one go for when you feel up to doing it. Perhaps you could even hire someone to come in once or twice a week to do the heavy cleaning for you. That would leave you only the light everyday stuff like dishes and straightening up.
Find things to do to entertain your grandson that involve interaction with you but doesn't require you to do a lot physically. Have your grandson go on a scavenger hunt (you could even hide 'prizes' when you are feeling up to it then later have him find them), make up bingo like cards (when you are feeling up to it of course) so that sometime later you and your grandson can play 'dialog bingo' with your favorite movie ( you put a bunch of common words on the cards and when/if the people in the movie say any of the words you have on your card, you cover it with a token. First one to cover all the words on their card wins).

So check with another doctor to see if there are any medications that might help relieve the pain enough for you to do the things you need to do. Prioritize what is most important and what isn't. During those times that you are feeling better, plan ahead for the times when you are not feeling up to doing much. Last, but not least, ask for help.

I hope this helps. If you have any questions or need additional information please don't hesitate to ask.
          Thanks
              Tracy